Weigh in

Yep, there was that number. 150.8. Still technically at that last number but barely!! My body fat percentage said 34.5 or 35.4. (Can't remember which-must be my age!).

So, I wouldn't call Thanksgiving an "epic" fail, but I did eat a lot, including 2 pieces of pie and 3 glasses of wine. I need to have a plan before going to other people's houses. I could have said no to the larger piece of pie and taken a smaller one or had a glass of water. I was proud of the fact that I picked up a crescent roll (my fave- but also contains gluten, which I am very sensitive to) when we got home and then decided I was full and was just going to eat for the sake of eating. Then, I didn't even finish my glass of wine! There was no purpose in finishing it. I was tired and full and my liver doesn't need that.

Then, when my 2 year old daughter woke up crying at 4am because she was hungry (even after 3 pieces of pumpkin pie!) I got her a snack but not eat anything myself. Normally I would eat something whenever I get up at night. Not really sure why I do that. I need to think about that. I have often snacked after bedtime and I don't know why. Often it is chocolate or cookies. Having kids now means I have a few more snack type foods around the house- not a good thing.

So, today I plan to up my water intake and drink at least 2 8 oz glasses (I don't like water, so that is a lofty goal!) and I will monitor my feelings as I reach for food and pay more attention today to that. I need to make a list of things I can do to distract myself when I am not hungry.

So, for a little back story without going in to too much detail, I grew up in the Midwest and was never a overweight even as a child. I had more of a muscular build which took me a long time to accept- particularly with my thighs. I always hated having bigger thighs, but looking back in pictures of when I was in shape they looked nice and strong and toned. I really miss looking toned. Anyway, I did gain a lot of weight in college from not eating right and drinking a ton of alcohol. I quickly lost some of the weight after moving back in with my parents for a semester after graduating from college. Then I moved out of state to attend graduate school. I lost even more weight and looked great until I started fertility treatments. I yo-yo'd a little more during that time, but nothing too crazy. I NEVER went over 140 pounds at any point until I was very pregnant with my son. It took 7 very long years to have him with several miscarriages while waiting. It was a truly horrific time in my life. Luckily my husband was very supportive during that time. I was at a good weight  7 months after having my son, which is when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Such an amazing surprise! I was thin during both pregnancies. I only gained 18 lbs with my son and about 25 with my daughter. I was terrified to eat anything I was allergic to for fear of killing them in utero after having so many miscarriages. So sad:( After having my daughter I had a lot of stress. My son was showing several signs of autism and my husband is a pilot so he is often away. My daughter had severe reflux and allergies so I had to breast feed. I exclusively pumped once I went back to work at 8 weeks. I had to do that for 16 months!! I could basically eat quinoa, safflower oil and asparagus during that time. I lost soooo much weight. I actually felt great but then started to become too thin. I didn't look good and many people made comments.  I dreaded becoming fat after I stopped nursing but the combination of not burning 600+ calories a day nursing and being able to eat anything I wanted was a recipe for disaster. I couldn't believe how quickly I gained the weight:( I didn't realize how awful I looked until I saw myself in pictures. That is what has led me to this blog. I need to be a healthy role model for my kids and am also terrified of the idea of not seeing them grow up. I love them so much that I just want to be with them forever. It must be so hard for grandparents knowing that they may not see their grandchildren grow into adulthood:( So my main reasons to lose weight are to look better, be a better role model and be healthy for my children. I was officially diagnosed with Hashimotos- an autoimmune thyroid disorder- in June and it was very hard to hear. I started going to a yoga class the next day and was loving it but then a month ago I broke my big toe:( not good for yoga:( I can finally walk again and the weather is beautiful so I need to incorporate walking daily into my routine. I plan to get back toga within the next two weeks. Am trying to fully heal my toe so I don't injure it further and set myself back. I do need to add weight training into my routine again. I get sick quickly if I even push myself a little so I can't do my old workout routine:(

So, anyway, for today I will drink at least 2 8 oz glasses of water and monitor WHY I am reaching for food. I will be weighing myself daily and will try to record it daily but I will have Fridat be my weekly weigh in at the bare minimum. I think doing it daily may help keep me on track. We will see.

I can do this!